Another Poem For Van

I’ve waited so long to talk to you.
I’ve messaged, waited
still waiting.
At this point, time isn’t a factor.
Even if I never hear anything,
I will wait.

The closest I get to you now
is an algorithm.
Social media suggests you
as a new friend.
As much as I would love that
to start over, pretend
as painful as it sounds,
to love you in restriction,
trapped by some border,
like we’re strangers.

I stare at your picture,
never swiping the notification away.
In a way, it feels like old times.
The only thing missing is your voice.
You’re with me when I go to work,
with me in the car.
But nothing lasts forever.

By the time I wake,
the notification is gone.
The screen is empty.
You’re gone.

But your eyes
the way you smile
have not left my memory.

I suppose I should be satisfied
with what I have now.
I’ve tried,
but I am not.