What If You Didn’t Show Up At All?

I brought the ticket
after thinking, and overthinking,
if you’d even show.

I wanted to do more than see you.
I wanted to show up for you in a way
you’d actually see
maybe even feel.

Casually showing up, grabbing a drink,
and placing myself somewhere in the back.
Not exactly close to the wall.
Somewhere I could see you perfectly,
and your eyes would naturally land.

After all, I am here for you.

I thought about your presence.
The kind of day you’ve had,
given our history.

You might be late.
You’re always late.
But your lipstick is always on point.
The longer I sat,
the more I thought
what if you didn’t show up at all?

That there would be a mic stand,
an empty stage,
and my expectation
left alone,
waiting on you.

It wouldn’t be the first time.
But it’s a thought that very well
could become a reality.

You show up for other people
and never apologize for an applause
you still expect to get.
I took a sip of my drink,
realizing the possibility.

Would I sit for a while, then leave?
Would I still sit and pretend that time
isn’t our most precious commodity?

I paid for my ticket,
brought a new outfit
but through it all,
I still had to compromise.
To meet you on your terms.

The ticket I brought
is still in my pocket,
printed out from the Ticketmaster screen.

These thoughts I have
printed across my face.

Melted ice rattling around
in this glass in my hand,
like someone else
who found something better to do.