Unlove

I can’t unlove because I am
impatient, selfish.
I love as if I cannot be hurt,
going on as if nothing is wrong.

I cannot unlove because I know not how.

I spend my nights awake
dreaming of how everything should have been
the speeches I have amongst myself,
lost in complete darkness,
accepting the sound of my voice
as an I told you so.

Seeking a dream
that seems so far away.

I can’t unlove because I accept disappointment
the contempt of putting others first
without fear.

I truly believe I cannot unlove
because I am in love
young again in thought,
running wild, free.
I consider it a perk,
being the only other person I know how to be.

No longer embarrassed
of facing the opposite end of the mirror,
finding that the most important things
bring the most smiles.

I am far from perfect,
but I cannot unlove
as if I made some sort of mistake,
purposely mistaking myself as a fool.