Under my Skin

My bones ache from all 
the cleaning I’ve done. 
I’ve cleaned up all the dust 
and finally hit the floorboards that 
I always tell myself that I’m going to clean. 
The patches in my life that always seem to be going right, until I look closer.

I’ve picked up and sorted through 
all the clothes I’ve let pile up 
on the couch. 
The clothes that have waited 
for someone to come in and take 
the place of. 
I’ve cleaned between the cracks 
of the tiles in the kitchen 
and scrubbed down the walls 
Of my heart. 
Although I am tired, I still keep going. 
I haven’t felt 
this way in a long time. 
I feel alive, 
making room in my heart for someone new. 

I’ve gotten rid of 
all the things that I thought 
held meaning in my life. 
The ghost of the person I thought 
I was, now in the trash. 
I hear him screaming, 
waving his hands around, asking hey what happened.
I am making room for you in my heart
with every intention 
of hoping that you’ll stay. 
Or at the very least, leave a part of you 
With me. 
I’ve cleaned between the cracks 
of the tiles in the kitchen 
and scrubbed down all the walls,
Even the parts behind the furniture.

I am ready, whenever you are 
comfortable enough to move in.
I’ll even help unpack